Shit My Husbands Says

Admittedly, that was a corny title. However, this message was not approved by William Shatner, and if they really are thinking of making a franchise for random Twitter-spewed quotes I want in on that honey wagon.

One of my favorite people in the entire planet is my husband. I am blessed to have married one of the most loyal, weird, and slightly deranged people I have ever had the pleasure to meet.

Sometimes you have to be outside of the moment to appreciate the humor of what he has said though. I mean way outside… like months afterwards, but he is happenstance funny so sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation to see the humor (Damn MTV to hell, I can’t type that word without giving it a Jersey accent). Now that I am no longer round with child I can see the humor in *some* of his verbal missteps during my pregnancy.

Take for instance…

Pregnancy ponderings:

If you end up getting a c-section do you want me to ask them to do a tummy tuck while they’re in there?

While massaging my eight months pregnant feet:

Your feet feel like they are made of gel packs.

Just in general I can’t believe he said this to a pregnant lady… multiple times:

Man, your moody today.

While we were in a doctors appointment talking about healthy weight gain during pregnancy, my doctor had asked what my diet was like. In general it was pretty healthy, but the one time my husband decided to pipe up throughout the whole visit he said:

What about the 7 cupcakes you ate yesterday?

Editor’s note: Broadcasting a pregnant lady’s moment of weakness is generally frowned upon… especially when that woman is carrying your progeny.