The one where I have to break Boogie’s heart…

This weekend I am going to have to address death with Boogie for the first time, and, honestly, I’d rather watch those Sarah McLachlan commercials on repeat during my first trimester than tell her that someone she loves is no longer with us. So I am doing what anyone in my situation would do, I am eating pans of brownies and avoiding eye contact with her until the time my husband and I designated would be right to tell her.

My husband’s grandmother passed away after living a very full life and having been loved dearly by many, many people-my husband, myself, and my daughter included. In fact, Boogie is but one of her namesake grandchildren.

And since they have been living with my in-laws for the last year, Boogie has grown close to “the greats,” as she calls her great-grandparents, performing and batting those killer lashes for great-grandma until she and great-grandpa have no choice but tell us how cute she is so they can enjoy the rest of their meal. And, truth be told, it was the tremendous affection and respect the Mister showed for his mother and grandmother that assured me I probably wouldn’t end up a Dateline Mystery if I stuck around. (Probably.)

I suspect it is going to be a rough weekend at Casa D’Meiners, one where blows will be dealt with chocolate chip cookies and lots of hugs and reassurance from Mommy.

Here I was thinking that teaching her to stop pooping in her pants and to only cram art supplies in her nostrils, mouth and ears in the privacy of her own home was to be counted as my greatest challenges as the parent of a toddler. That would have been easy. I didn’t realize I was going to have to deal with her first heartache already.

In case you’re poised to fire off a super-awesome comment about what a terrible parent I am since I’d rather make out with a peanut butter cup than address this with G-Boogie, a couple things. One, I have a delete button so no one will ever know the truth about how clever you where when you called me out. Two, we have been reading up on it and have a plan in place to address it with her while her grandmother is present to prevent confusion, and where we can show her pictures to help while we explain it to her in very simple terms.

You’ll have to find another reason to dress me down on my parenting skills. But trust me, it’s not going to be hard – just comb the archives here and you’ll find one.

yours,

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2 thoughts on “The one where I have to break Boogie’s heart…

  1. Mel, my heart goes out to you and your beautiful family. Having lost my grandmother just shy of my second birthday and being told later that all I did was cry out for her, I can sympathize with your fears. It took me years to fully understand death. Although you may not always feel like you are the greatest parent for Boogie and the sequel, rest assured that so long as your heart is in the right place, YOU ARE THE GREATEST! There can only be one Mommy for you babies and God chose you for a reason. May God bless and keep your beautiful family through your time of grief.

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