There are about 738 reasons why I am the worst.motha.evah. (One for each day that Boogie has been alive.)
I’m not saying that to be cheeky or cute, because I am telling you now, if it isn’t because I didn’t breastfeed her until she knew her multiplication tables, it’s because I let her eat those little fish shaped crackers…You know the ones we used to eatback before we were all anti-gluten (we’re still doing that, right?) and before we realized refined carbs and sugars were the root of all failing grades and ‘talks too much in class’ report card comments.
And I honestly didn’t realize until I was reading a post on another mom blog that I was supposed to have picked a parenting philosophy. See, in those very early days of motherhood instead of trying to figure out what parenting dogma was supposed to be “guiding” me, I was just trying to make it through the day without putting her in a box in front of the Super Wal-Mart with a hand-scribbled sign saying ‘Free Baby’ (don’t worry, on the good days I considered leaving her in front of Target or Nordstroms). And by the time I was on the other side of all that business, I’m pretty sure she’d already racked up future therapy bills in the thousands. So I guess my philosophy is something along the lines of, “keep ’em alive and give ’em a few good stories for when they are on the couch at the least, or go for the gold and give them something they can sell for a good memoir.”
But, now I’m feeling bad because TIME put some freaky, extreme example of an attachment parent (attachment parenting is one of those philosophies we were just talking about) on their cover. Why does it make me feel bad? Because Boogie’s therapist is going to be really bored with her if she’s going to be competing with kids who are breastfeeding well into grade school.
And it also makes me feel bad because it just points out that yes Virginia, people still use motherhood as a way to marginalize women by focusing on a woman’s decision to be a full time parent. Yes, attachment parents can be intense, but holy cow…are we really applauding how progressive it is for a man to stay home with the kids while using attachment parenting to tell women that a more traditional take on motherhood isn’t a fulfilling or valid choice for them, that as the anti-feminists, they are the ones who are making things harder for their daughters in society?
Now that confusing mess of messages, my friend
s, is probably more likely to put my kid on the couch than the fact that yes, there are days when I’d rather see a bunch of people bitching in my Facebook feed than read you “The Pout-Pout Fish” for the sevety-frillionth time.