A Photo Commentary on Becoming A Mom

My supertastic sleuthing skills have unearthed yet another vast conspiracy perpetrated against new mothers everywhere: you do not necessarily lose weight when you breastfeed your spawns.

I couldn’t figure out why my little liposuction machine wasn’t “sucking the fat right outta me” like everyone who wanted me to breastfeed told me she would. I couldn’t unplug her and plug her back in like I do when my electronic equipment fails, and (again) I have been told there were no refunds or exchanges. So I was just left puzzled and feeling bait and switched by the baby raising industry.

Turns out that some ladies actually do have efficient little fat suckers that coo and smile while they attack their nipples, but there is a contingent (and I am including myself in this camp) who hang onto those fat cells for dear life while making milk for those little boobaholics. So, to solve this omg-the-scale-has-barely-budged-in-nearly-three-weeks issue I went to Borders to get this:

I resisted these:

omgcupcakes, and one even has the word sparkle in it's name...

and walked out with these:

I may be wrong, but I think that’s a pretty solid illustration that I am on the path to being a full-fledged Mom (minus the Mom jeans & holiday vests, but a Mom none the less).

Well, this coupled with the fact that I only blow dry and style my hair on special occasions now that Baby Monkey is here… and unfortunately a marathon breastfeeding session does not count as a special occasion at my house.

3 thoughts on “A Photo Commentary on Becoming A Mom

  1. I didn’t lose weight until I stopped breastfeeding. Every time I’d drop a pound or two, my supply would dry up and I’d have to gain it back and then some. But it wouldn’t come back as strong. So after awhile I was on Fenugreek to keep milk supply going. (Makes your sweat smell like maple syrup. Which isn’t all that great when you’re exercising next to people in the cardio area of your gym. heehee.)

    But yup. That happens.

  2. I would say, wait a couple of months before you get too worried about the wait loss situation. From what I have seen, it usually takes people about six months to lose all the baby weight, even if you are nursing (I mean, unless you have a celebrity fitness trainer and a personal raw vegan food chef at your beck and call). Generally your hormones (including sometimes the thyroid hormones that control metabolism) get all out of whack post-pregnancy and take a little while to settle down.

    I lost weight pretty quickly while nursing, but I think that had something to do with the fact that my husband was never home and so I had almost no help, and my son was an extremely high needs baby who hated to be set down, so I kept forgetting to eat. Heh.

  3. I’m still breastfeeding, so I don’t what my weight is going to do once I stop.

    But, incidentally, I was skinny when pregnant. I lost weight everywhere (only gained nineteen pounds and was just a belly! That’s the ONLY benefit, I suppose, of constant nausea/acid reflux. lol.)

    I put on weight POSTPARTUM. Hit my peak at about four months postpartum and after that, I cut some calories and started losing. At about nine months postpartum, I was at my pre-pregnancy weight again.

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