Are We Supposed to Get Her The One Year or Three Year Shot?

Posted on February 15, 2011 | Leave a comment

I eatz the towelz cuz et iz gewd.

People have always commented on how tidy I keep my house. Not because I am OCD, mind you, but because I couldn’t afford the vet bills anymore. After several years of living with a dog who has eaten gore-tex boots, entire sweaters, $20 bills, razor blades, and a strand of Christmas lights (to name just a few of her gourmet dining tastes) you learn to keep things off the floor and you become very familiar with what animal x-rays cost.

Sasha’s adventurous appetite knows no bounds; she once devoured a friend’s “shake” (I am not going to define that one for you), and then proceeded to clean out said friend’s roommate’s candy collection. Said friend never dog sat again.

Sasha trained me to be surface clean. Unless it could become lodged in a windpipe I just left it on the floor, which doesn’t leave much but there are some things I never really worried about. Having a dog that will eat anything at their eye level kind of negates the necessity of vacuuming and moping. During the fall yes leaves get tracked in, but they meet their doom about 24 hours after their arrival indoors thanks to her.

Hide all yer dirtz, cuz I iz gonna eatz dem.

However, now that Boogie has perfected the pincher grasp, it seems she has developed a taste for twigs and leaves, hunks of animal hair, and just about anything that should either be in the trash or vacuumed up. And she gets to it long before Sasha even had a chance.

Cleaning our floors and digging what didn’t get cleaned up out of her mouth could now constitute a full-time job at our house.

This morning after the obligatory vacuum pass I called the Mister, “So, Boogie started crawling and chasing the vacuum cleaner, growling at the thing the whole time I had it running.”

“Do you think she thinks she’s a dog?”

“No, she has to know she’s human. That’s has to be one of those things you are just born knowing… right?”

“Do you think she still remembers how she was born then?”

Can you believe I actually thought, if only for a fleeting moment, raising a baby might be easier than a dog? You know, because I figured they could learn more stuff like eventually how to use a toilet, and probably wouldn’t eat clothing and trash…

Devil Horns | Melody

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A Valentine for You, My Friend

Posted on February 14, 2011 | Leave a comment

On this, a very special Valentine’s Day…

That is how much I love you.

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Posted in PartyPants

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Totally Viral… In The Sense That It’s Time to Get Ill

Posted on February 9, 2011 | 3 Comments

There are a lot of things that I love about parenthood… and I am not saying that sarcastically (mostly). However, if I would have known having a baby gave you so much fodder for changing the lyrics to your favorite songs I would have done this way earlier.

We also have a few Tone Loc and Salt and Peppa songs up our sleeves. Which begs the question… what was Metromix thinking when they called me Twonder Woman?

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Posted in ParentPants

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What Happens in Nashvegas, Stays in Nashvegas… Unless You Blog

Posted on February 2, 2011 | 14 Comments

There ain’ t nothing like a blogging conference bahbay,
to get a bunch of mommas out going crahzay.

I started this post when I had just arrived home from Nashville where I attended the Blissdom blogging conference… I am finishing this post a few days later when I have had time to catch back up with life.

PS: I use the word “attended” loosely since this was the first, and what I fear may be the last, chance I had to take a nap, get a manicure, and get a massage while the sun is out for at least the next eighteen years.

This is what happens when four bloggy mommas pack into a VW, drive 85 m.p.h. down a highway for four hours, and cram themselves into a hotel room for three nights and four days.

I know. Jealousy is a cruel mistress (and thank you roomie Hannah for the pic!)

So what did I learn during my trip to Nashvegas for Blissdom?

1) MC Hammer has nothing on my most excellent rommie, Hannah. When she says it’s Hannah Time, she means it…

2) Two free drink tickets per blogger makes for a bunch of really cheap dates.

3) I know the song typically goes that you don’t want your babies to grow up to be cowboys. Whoever wrote that song never met an ag salesman. “Tractor Convention” is really a euphemism for “Horney Married Dude Gathering.”

As if that wasn’t earth shattering enough, I attended the amazing opening keynote by Brene Brown, whose entire speech was inspirational in a way that I am pretty sure will shape the way I look at both my business and motherhood. (What really got me was when she said, when someone asks something of you to, “Choose discomfort over resentment.”)

I also had a blast hearing all of the creative content ideas from Mrs. Flinger,  Amy Turn Sharp, and Jim from the Busy Dad Blog during the one writing session I was able to attend (and not just because, they pulled out the super-meme slide of awesomeness replete with rainbows, ninjas, and unicorns).

Next stop, hopefully Type A Parent in Asehville. Or dare I hope to afford the ticket price for BlogHer? With all the two free booze tickets every night, and me being a super cheap date, it totally pays for its self.

Devil Horns! | Melody

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Rubber Duckies, You’re The Shower Favor

Posted on January 28, 2011 | 1 Comment

Best.Song.Ever.

And, the best shower favor that ever I made? Well, the baby powder scented rubber ducky soaps I made for my super, awesome, action-figure worthy BFF’s shower a few weeks ago were pretty win.

Since she is expecting a baby boy, whom I will forever call Anakin no matter what she decides to name him*, I made the baby ducks blue and the momma ducks yellow. Despite the fact that I can now count three people who have tried to eat them (how does that even happen?) they turned out well.

And since one person asked by popular demand, here’s how I made them:

Never Get High on Your Own Supplies

  • Pure, Clear Glycerine by Something Fabulous
  • Baby Powder Scent by Something Fabulous
  • Soap Dyes by Something Fabulous
  • “Animal” Soap Molds, and Duck Candy Molds

 

Picked most of this awesome up at Hobby Lobby, and the Wilton candy molds were procured at Michael’s.

Craftalicious, She’s Hot Hot!

  • For the momma ducks I melted one cube of glycerine on low heat, one cube for six bebe ducks. If the glycerine started bubbling I simply lifted the pan a few inches off the flame and swirled it around to keep the top layer from cooling.
  • After everything was all melty I added four drops of scent, and about 17 drops of dye and swirled it to mix.
  • Pour the soap into the molds and let cool for 45 mins.
  • Pop the soap out of the molds and let cool completely on a piece of parchment paper.

 

It takes about two weeks for the soap to cure, but I don’t even really know what that means… soap curing? Like curing childhood diseases or something?

Anyhow, there are six different colors that come in a pack. I made about 80 ducks (two batches for two showers) and used close to 8lbs of soap and two containers of yellow dye and scent. I wrapped them in little cellophane treat bags and tied with ribbon, attaching little tags with everyone’s names written on them so they doubled as favors and place cards.

Eighty ducks and three weeks later my house still smells of glycerine and baby powder, which I would venture to say is better than cabbage and baby poop.

*When she told me she was seriously considering that name for her little peanut she followed up by saying, “I don’t think that movie will be a big deal when he’s older, ya know?” To which I replied, “Star Wars? Really? Not that big, huh.

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Posted in CraftyPants Rehash

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Well, You Don’t Have to Rub It In…

Posted on January 25, 2011 | Leave a comment

Today I turn the big 3-1. I remember when I was a little bit younger every birthday seemed like a momentous occasion, but 31… meh. It just means I have solidly landed midway through the target advertising demographic, and that I am way overdue canceling my account on Twenty Something Bloggers (not out of denial, mind you, just sheer laziness).

I haven’t quite reached the point in my life wherein I lie about my age, and I am beyond the point where celebrating my birthday at the ice skating rink has gone from kitschy to sad.

Thirty-one… it’s just a weird one.

Thanks to the magic of Facebook the day hasn’t gone unnoticed, and thanks to the conversation I had with the hubby a couple of weeks ago there was a card waiting for me on the counter when I came downstairs this morning.

Let me preface my sharing of the text of this card by telling you all that for many, many years my birthday presents have been given to me a month in advance in the form of a Christmas/Birthday present combo. I have grown accustomed to that, and so I am also completely cool with the fact that since I am leaving for Blissdom tomorrow I won’t be getting a present from Boogie and the Mister this year.

And now onto the card,

For My Wife

On your birthday I’d like to give you the world… but my heart will have to do.

Love, Boogie and the Mister

Of note: the only thing handprinted is the last line, i.e. the signature line.

As I mixed Boogie’s oatmeal and read this I couldn’t help wondering, hadn’t he already given me his heart, wasn’t that the point of all that wedding bru-haha? So, technically, does this card mean that he is regifting me for my birthday and Hallmark is officially endorsing it?

And as I navigated the spoon past upheld hands and clamped tight lips, I went on to ponder, although the card was very sweet, hadn’t we had already established I was not getting anything for my birthday this year?And did he really just give me a card that said, in a very sweet and passive way of course, that I’m not getting anything for my birthday this year?

Devil Horns! | Melody

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Currently Craving: My Bedroom Inspirations & Aspirations

Posted on January 20, 2011 | 1 Comment

Here at Chez Meiners Part Deux there is a pecking order. First comes Boogie and then all others can follow suit should they be so inclined. If they aren’t inclined to take second place to her she suggests they find somewhere else to stay.

And yes, she is talking directly to you Sasha dog, but you have to leave those delicious dog toys she has been finding and licking all the germs off. That was hard work and she didn’t spend all that time doing it for nothing.

However, this also means that her parents (formerly known by their first names) take a backseat, especially when it comes to the spending of the dollaz in the storz.

All that wonderful nesting energy that I had made for a very pulled together and satisfying home at Chez Meiners Uno, so this poor house has a lot of catching up to do and very little extra time to do it in.

The nursery is about 90% finished, so I am pulling together some ideas for the master bedroom. I decided I wanted a lot of textures and a lot of neutrals to fill the space, clean and curvy lines, and layers of fabrics that feel rich and invite you to cozy up. Here are some of the things I am craving for our master bedroom:

I have already purchased a few of the items from the collection above thanks to the awesome discounts and my friends who got me all hooked up with credits by singing up and buying from thefoundary! I heart you guys!

Right now I am just waiting for the postman to deliver my prizes (yes, I consider everything I buy post-baby my prizes for doing such a great job growing people), and the perfect weekend to try out Centsational Girl Kate’s headboard project.

I will share with you the before and after of the big kid bedroom I am building wherein I have nicer furniture than the baby… you know should I actually conquer my mom guilt enough to get everything together.

love | mel

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