Monthly Archives: October 2009

ZOMG – I don’t have a costume!

Let there be no mistake, it is super-Halloween-fun-time this year. 2009 has truly been the year for vampires, werewolves and zombies in music, books, tv and movies. To cap off the year of the macabre we have Halloween falling on a Saturday and lasting an extra hour longer this year because of daylight savings time. It’s like October 31st is going to be sitting there right next to all the tiny witches, Spidermen, and ladybugs eating an entire pillowcase full of candy and running around in circles until it throws-up on itself Saturday night. In both the holiday and childrens’ defense, I wouldn’t doubt if there were a number of adults who will become reacquainted with their dinners as the clock strikes 1am, twice.

So there are technically only a couple of full shopping days left until you are relegated to dressing up as a gangster for the fifth year in a row. Not that you don’t look great in that flapper dress and the tommy-gun isn’t any worse for wear, but remember how much thought and excitement went into picking out the perfect costume for your class party when you were little? And remember how disappointed you were when your parents came home with a store-bought, Wonder Woman costume painted on a pair of cheap pajamas and that was probably inspired by the tuxedo t-shirt instead of the shiny blue, plastic bodice and red leather boots you thought they were getting you? Yeah – you do, don’t ya? You vowed then to never have a crappy Halloween costume again and, my friend, even though there are only a two days left, this is the best Halloween to start honoring that vow.

To help here are a few last minute costume ideas that I found while crawling the web, and that you can whip up in no time.  And I also added some recommendations on what to avoid for Halloween 2009: Continue reading

To H1N1 vaccinate or not to H1N1 vaccinate

One problem with working from home is the compulsion to turn on the news channels during the day for unintelligible background noise.  After watching the first cycle of headlines the news does provide a steady stream of white noise for the most part, but there are a few key phrases that will never fail to get my attention: Jude Law, desert recipe, and pregnant women being at the top of that list.  Lord help me if Jude Law ever starts making chocolate cupcakes for pregnant ladies.

Back in April when the swine flu frenzy started sizzling I dismissed it, thinking that since the chances a pig would sneeze on me were fairly slim I was probably okay. Now that I am drinking making decisions for two, the bacon bug has started to breakout of white noise mode to catch my ear, especially when they call in a photogenic expert to talk about swine flu, the vaccine, and us knocked-up women folk.

About two weeks after I found out baby was coming I started getting all kinds of mixed messages: from ‘Deli meat is the fruit of the devil,’ and my doctor saying ‘No, deli meat is fine and so is sushi.’ To, ‘Here drink this awesome pregnancy tea with raspberry leaves,’ and the internet yelling ‘ZOMG, if you drink that it means you hate your baby!’ And now, ‘You have to get the swine flu shot or you are already the worst.mother.ever,’ to ‘The swine flu vaccine will cause a third arm to grow out of your baby’s forehead, and you will already be the worst.mother.ever.’ And all of the conversations, on both sides, ended with an asterisks or a quickly whispered, “But always ask your doctor.”

Can I just say, ya’ll are killing me with the mixed bag of advice that has to be caveated with ask your doctor? Please remember I can’t treat this baby anxiety with a bottle of Shiraz right now…

Blame it on the same pregnancy hormones that caused me to unexpectedly cry when denied M&M’s at 11pm (to which I apologized even through my tears knowing how insane that was) or the fear, but yesterday the daily lunch phone call between me and The Mister started with a tear-filled monologue about how I signed up to get the themerisol-free (i.e. approved for pregnant ladies) H1N1 shot because “THEY” have finally scared me into it, but how I am still worried because my gut instinct is saying that getting all shot up with the pig flu juice is a gamble, too.

It really feel like this is a lose-lose situation. Besides that fact that I hate shots and reacted like a 3-year-old when I got my seasonal flu shot this year, this shot in particular, admittedly, was rushed to market. Back in September people were saying that this still hasn’t been studied on pregnant women, but I am getting messages like this all up in my Twitter stream from the March of Dimes, and of course Dr. Nice-Eyes is trying to hypnotize me into getting one when he goes on the news channel.

When I put the question out on Twitter and Facebook this morning folks like Suzanne Tucker, aka Zen Mommy, sent me a lot of links that are pretty much aligned with that “stay away” gut feeling. A few gals that I have known since I thought listening to a Nirvana CD on repeat was an appropriate way to spend a Friday night also responded to the question. And though they allowed me to do that I still trust them, and they pretty much said the same thing – just wash your damn hands, take your vitamins and you’ll be better off.

On the other end of the swine flu spectrum, when I called my doctor and asked his opinion the nurse without hesitation told me to get the vaccine, but when I asked if all of the people in her office were getting it she stammered to answer but squeaked out a yes. I also had a friend link me to an article on WebMD, a site that tends to occasionally convince me one of my limbs is in danger of falling off, that explained the very real, increased mortality rates for pregnant women who contract the flu. In other words – it didn’t really clear much up.

So, I did what any very confused and hormonal mom-to-be does: I heated up some chocolate chip cookies and turned on “I Am Legend.” Then I made a decision. I decided to go with my gut on this one.

Before that little stick announced Baby Meiners’ pending arrival I was having a hard time finishing those vodka drinks and wine, and my chain smoking had naturally started to snuff itself out. When I told a friend I was pregnant he first expressed a fear for the future of the vodka and wine industries, and then he reasoned that the unexplained decrease in my hearty vice appetite was probably my mother’s instinct kicking in.

Maybe my instinct to stay as far away from that vaccine as possible is another example of that? Maybe my instincts are trying to keep me from being a completely horrible and sucky parent, or maybe this is the prenatal equivalent of forgetting to feed your kid for a few days. Only time will tell, but in the mean time I may just go on the advice to invest in respiratory masks, add to that some military jackets and then try to play it off as an eccentricity.

End of the first trimester realizations

It might be a little late in the game to come to grips with this, and you probably are going to tell me i would have been better off realizing this say maybe four and some change months ago. Mixed in with this month’s copy of Vogue and Wired I got a letter from our health insurance company granting me permission to have a baby. Damn am I glad they said it was ok, I had no idea that I needed to ask them about it first. Though, honestly, I can’t begin to imagine what impact a phone call to the insurance  company would have on foreplay, but I guess we would have figured out some way to make it work…

In my permission slip there were a bevy of things that they said was ok: ultrasounds, doctors visits, and vaginal birth. Hold.the.freaking.phone. I was a stellar anatomy student and I have even watched that slightly disturbing Ricki Lake movie that shows her ta-tas, but zomg I just realized that an entire human being is going to have to make it’s way out of here somehow. And if all goes according to the insurance company’s permission slip, that “somehow” has me scared stupid right now. As mentioned in paragraph one, that just didn’t quite click with me four months ago.

While I am letting this all sink in, and now pondering the lack of epidural-inspired fan art, the glass of growth hormone-free chocolate milk isn’t half empty by any means (or else I would certainly be refilling it). I am no longer counting down the hours until bed time from the moment I start my morning routine, and that nauseous feeling that made me just wish I could puke and get it over with is all but completely gone. I still cringe at the thought of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but luckily my generalized lettuce aversion has abated to a repulsion focused on dark green or hot lettuces (yea… I don’t understand it either, but I am hoping the kid will know why so I will ask in a few years and get back to ya).

I still don’t know if I am harboring a little geek or princess and won’t find that out until December according to the doc. But if you must know, my heart says team pink but the rational side of me is pulling for team blue. Really, boys equal less drama and more video games, but girls equal cute names that sound like they came from a Victorian phone book. It’s a tough one, and I just couldn’t live with the guilt of naming a boy something gender-neutral. And yes, I am totally owning that sexist remark, but can I at least be considered a sexy sexist or something?